Ladybug's Crush
by What's the Big Idea
Summary: A joke interview question gets out of hand. (I'd make a part 2 but I have no ideas ;-;)


Alya grumbled as she scrolled through her previous posts.

"What's the matter, Al?" Nino asked, turning around to face the frustrated blogger. "I figured you'd be stoked, I mean, you got an interview with Paris's superheroes!"

"YES! That's the problem!" Alya growled as she hit her first-ever post on the Ladyblog. "What am I supposed to _ask_? I've asked all the obvious things, all the strange things, and all the serious things! There's nothing left to ask!"

"Are you sure?" Nino said, furrowing his brow. "Here, let me look."

A few minutes of scrolling later, Nino brightened. "Oh! How about, 'What's your favourite thing about your partner?'"

Alya wrote it down eagerly. "Perfect!" she sighed, "only twenty or so more to go."

"Why don't you ask everyone then?" Nino suggested. "I'm sure between us there must be something you haven't thought of."

* * *

Alya smiled at the list of questions in her hands. It was an odd list, but none of the questions had been asked before, so she considered that a fair tradeoff. She just needed one or two more, and she'd be ready to go!

"Hey, Adrien," she poked the boy in the front seat. He jolted upwards from where he'd slumped.

Rubbing his eyes, he mumbled, "Myeah?"

"What I should ask Ladybug and Chat Noir?" Alya inquired seriously. "I'd ask Marinette, but she's even more out of it than you are."

Marinette, curled up over her desk with a small smile on her face, snuggled deeper into her arms as if to block out the daylight. Adrien grinned as an idea suddenly came to him. "Ask them their opinion of Marinette," he suggested, as seriously as he could.

Alya looked ready to say something, but she seemed to think better of it. "Perfect," she said instead, a devious grin forming on her face. "I think that's the _perfect_ question to end on."

* * *

"What's your favourite fashion line?" Alya inquired.

Ladybug and Chat Noir shared a look. "Gabriel," they said in unison, chuckling. "I like their brave colour choices." Ladybug added thoughtfully.

"Ooh, high class heroes! I love it," Alya smiled. "Okay, final question before we close off for this evening. This one was a special request," Alya winked. "What's your opinion of Marinette?"

The reaction was instantaneous.

Chat Noir immediately perked up. "Oh, you mean Princess?" He asked cheerfully. Ladybug, meanwhile, immediately blushed and stammered something incomprehensible. "She's the cat's meow! Remember, during that art-based akuma, Evillustrator?" Chat glanced at his partner and blinked.

"Ah, well, um, yes! I remember her!" Ladybug smiled nervously.

Chat Noir's face morphed into a grin. "Oooh?" he smirked. "You 'remember her', huh? I seem to recall the first thing you said about her being 'Really cute, isn't she?'"

Ladybug's face was almost as red as her suit. "Well, she is," Ladybug mumbled. "cute, I mean."

Alya gaped. Chat Noir's grin would have to be surgically removed, but he wasn't finished yet. "Ladybug~," he drawled, "do you _like_ her?"

She turned her phone quickly to catch Ladybug's reaction. "I, um, well," she stuttered, "ah..."

"You _do_!" Chat yelled, hopping on the spot like an enthusiastic puppy. "Oh, my lady, you should have said you had someone on your mind! It's a pity you don't like this cat," he sighed dramatically, "but I am sure you can win any heart in Paris." He flipped his attention back to Alya. "Thank you for the _purr-_ fect interview, Ladyblogger," he winked. "It seems that my Lady and I have a conversation to attend, however, so for now - au revoir!"

With that, the black-clad superhero grabbed his partner's arm and the pair leaped off and away.

"Did you see that?!" Alya cried. "Seems Ladybug has her eyes on someone!"

* * *

Marinette stared, dead-eyed, at the interview which had just finished playing.

"Well," Tikki said, after a moment's pause, "At least Alya didn't release your full name?" The kwami sat down in Marinette's lap. "It could be worse."

"I know," Marinette agreed. "But it doesn't feel like it could be worse."

She flicked down into the comments. _123,563_ comments.

 _I SHIP IT_

 _Who is she? I want pics!_

 _Anyone know where I can find fanart of them?_

 _Look here, there's a picture of her from Evillustrator, though it's pretty fuzzy. Short, black hair, wearing a lot of pink._

 _Ooh, she does look cute!_

 _#MARIBUG #MARIBUG #MARIBUG_

 _Poor Chat Noir! But Lesbians always win hehe_

"I'm bi," Marinette muttered to herself, before sighing and closing the whole page. Flopping back into her chair, she groaned. "What do I _do_ , Tikki?"

Tikki blinked. "... I'm sorry, Marinette," she said apologetically. "I have no idea."

"I'm doomed," Marinette announced, to nobody in particular.

* * *

School the next day was a nightmare.

"How _dare_ you steal Ladybug," Chloe hissed, grabbing her by the collar. Marinette blinked at her. "I had a chance, and you _stole_ it! I'll get you for this," she insisted, before letting go and storming off.

"What?" Marinette said a minute later. _It really is too early for this._

Nino chuckled sympathetically as people who had never noticed her before were suddenly giving her knowing looks or suggestive winks. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die. She wanted to sink into the earth and never return. She wanted-

Alya burst up from her seat and dragged Marinette into her chair before she could protest. "Okay, girl," Alya grinned, phone at the ready. "SPILL. Give me the deets. I want to know every detail."

"There's nothing to spill!" Marinette protested, but Alya was having none of it. She pinched her best friend's cheek. "What am I supposed to tell you?"

"Ladybug _likes_ you!" Alya whispered loudly. "If she asks you out, are you going to say yes? Or will Adrien win even against _Ladybug?_ " She nudged her. "C'mon, girl. I know you're bi. You wouldn't listen to all my rants if you weren't even a _little_ interested."

"But- but-" Marinette stammered.

"Nope! No buts!" Alya shushed her. "We're going to the salon after this. We're going to pretty you up. And then I'm going to post on the Ladyblog and make sure Ladybug asks you out. You're going to go out with Ladybug because you deserve the _best,_ girl."

Marinette sighed. "I don't think Ladybug is going to ask me out, Alya," she insisted. "I bet she just got flustered and didn't know how to reply."

"Don't be a downer!" Alya flicked her friend's nose. "You're a real catch, Marinette, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. She _is_ going to ask you out, so you'd better be ready for the makeover of a lifetime."

Marinette knew that tone. It was Alya's 'You Can't Change My Mind' tone.

She sighed. _Today,_ she decided, _is going to be a very long day._

* * *

She had to admit, she _did_ feel pretty.

Alya had forced her to get her hair done and made her wear a dress she'd made and never worn out of embarrassment. It was blue, and spiralled around her form, blooming out at her feet and fading into a dark black. Her skin still felt kind of weird after using a face mask, but she supposed that was to be expected.

Still... it was kind of weird going out on patrol when she knew she looked like she was out on a date underneath the magical suit.

* * *

"Oh my god," Marinette said when Chat gleefully handed her a large, decorated box labelled, _'date supplies_ '. "Chat, why."

"Because I'm your wingman!" He insisted, cat-ears flopping back and forth with his head. "Trust me, bugaboo, I've read acres of advice on this stuff, this should sweep your civilian sweetheart off her feet." He lifted the lid to reveal a metric ton of flowers (predominantly roses), paper notes (were those puns written on the yellow ones?), and chocolates (the _very_ expensive kind). "Voila! Everything you could ever need for a sweep-em-off-their-feet date."

"Why." Marinette massaged her headache. "I'm _not_ asking her out, Chaton."

Chat sighed. "I just want you to be happy, my Lady," he admitted quietly. "And you aren't going to be happy if you just let her slip away. Take the chance while you can!" He insisted. "I know you're always saying stuff about identities and so on, but you deserve to be happy, too. And I know Princess. She could make you a very happy lovebug." He nudged her and winked, blind to her mortification. "if you know what I mean."

"I don't," she replied blankly. This was _too weird_. "What do you even want me to do?"

"Ask her out. Details can come later," he announced cheerfully. "Or just proclaim your undying love, that works well with the romantic types. Trust me. Take these-" He handed her the box, which was almost as big as she was, "spread those over her bed- trust me it'll be romantic - and then use one of the notes, pick a favourite. I spent all my free time yesterday writing all the pick up lines I could think of!" He said proudly.

"Oh my god." She picked one of the notes up. _Are you a fisherman? Because I think you're a reel catch._ "These are disgustingly cheesy."

(She refused to realize that if Adrien said any of them to her she'd probably kiss him.)

"Hey, don't diss what works," Chat retorted. "Now _shoo_ , I'll handle patrol tonight, just go and ask her! Go on! Go go go!"

Ladybug was already at her own rooftop before she even knew what she was thinking.

Settling down in her room and putting the giant box of flowers, chocolates, and cheesy pick-up lines on the floor, she detransformed. Standing in the middle of her room in a fancy dress wearing her hair like a princess, she stared at the box.

"What on earth do I do with all this?"

Tikki floated up next to her. "You could always treat yourself?" She suggested shyly.

Marinette shrugged. "Alright, tonight is officially 'me' night," she announced to nobody in particular. "Tikki, if there are any cookies in there, they're yours."

Her kwami whooped and immediately dove in. Marinette shrugged again and went for the flowers.

* * *

After a solid hour of UMS3, a long bath, a karaoke session, all in between organizing the sweets Chat had given her so that she didn't eat them all at once and arranging the flowers on her balcony so they'd actually survive, Marinette collapsed into her bed, trying not to roll onto the veritable tower of post-its on her bed. A few of them slid off and fell on her face, and she blew them out of the way.

Tikki had fallen asleep at some point, extremely satisfied and cuddling a half-eaten cookie. Marinette was pretty sure she had phantom imprints of the controller on her fingers, and she was fairly certain she'd had the lyrics to MIKA's _Elle Me Dit_ tattooed into her brain. Her fingers and toes felt like prunes. She was, in a word, satisfied.

Her mother poked her head up through the trap door. "Did you have a good date?" She asked innocently.

Marinette groaned.

"That good, hm?" Sabine chuckled. "Good night, Marinette! Please make sure you introduce Ladybug to us at some point, we haven't given her the dating speech yet!"

* * *

"So~," Alya poked Marinette's cheek. "How was the date with Ladybug?"

"Good," Marinette replied, after a moment's pause. Then she blinked. "We didn't go on a date."

Alya scoffed. "Yeah, sure, of course you didn't," Alya snickered. "Oops, too late, I posted it to the Ladyblog."

"WHAT?" Marinette reached for Alya's phone. "Alya, NO!" She grabbed the phone and quickly opened the Ladyblog. "How could you do this to me?!"

The post was only a few lines long, but she was already feeling a pit of dread in her stomach.

 _Morning, Ladies and Chats! Good news, shippers; the SS #Maribug has sailed!_

Marinette whined.

Among the last to filter in to the class was Adrien. Marinette felt her mortification slowly sink into horror as he shot her a friendly smile. "Morning, Marinette!" He greeted her. "So, how was Ladybug?"

Marinette sunk into her seat. "Good," she murmured, mentally throwing all her dreams away. "she was good."

Adrien smiled like the sun. "I'm glad," he laughed lightly. "Invite me to the wedding, okay?"

"Sure," she replied on autopilot, sinking even lower. "Sure..."

Marinette spent the rest of the class curled up under her desk.

* * *

"I need to do something about this," Marinette insisted, once she was home (and had recovered with an entire box of ice cream - so much for her diet). "I really, really do."

"I know," Tikki agreed. "This is a real mess we've got, isn't it?"

Marinette paced. "I need to get the heat off of both Marinette _and_ Ladybug. And take down my Adrien pictures," she added belatedly. "Obviously, he has no interest in me." She sighed heavily. "There goes my hopes and dreams."

"Hey, it's okay," Tikki soothed. "I'm sure that someday someone even better will sweep you off your feet!"

"What," Marinette grumbled, ripping down another photo, "Like Ladybug?" She sniffed. "Yeah, right. Nobody's going to even _look_ at me now, not while I'm supposedly attached." She slumped down to her knees, tossing the pictures away towards the trash can. They hit the wall and fell to one side.

"Marinette?" Tikki fluttered down as gentle sobs filled the room. "Marinette, it's going to be alright. We'll find a way out of this."

"Yeah," Marinette sniffed, "but when?"

* * *

'When' turned out to be two agonizing weeks later.

Everywhere she went, people she knew asked her about Ladybug. Thankfully, Alya was doing an amazing job of keeping her out of the media, but Rose would needle her side and ask her for date advice, and Chloe would glare and sniff and rant even more than usual, and Chat Noir, every time she saw him, was downright _strange_ , having failed to flirt since the interview. She... she really missed that, actually. And Alya! Alya wouldn't talk to her about anything else any more, just asked her about dates all the time and begging her for interviews. She probably would have backed off, but Marinette didn't have anything to tell her. What could she _say_? Sorry, I can't go on a date with myself?!

Two weeks later, she finally hit breaking point.

"I've got to _do_ something about this, Tikki," Marinette insisted, pacing her room. It had seemed really empty since she'd taken down her pictures of Adrien, and no number of fashion sketches could really fill the space the same way. "I mean, I get it, I'm supposedly dating Ladybug. But nobody will _shut up_ about it, and, and I can't _live_ like this!" She sighed. "What am I even supposed to do?"

Instead of a reply, there was a knock on her window.

Marinette spun on her heel and raced up her ladder, grabbing a broom on the way and holding it defensively in front of her. She poked the lock and gently nudged the window open.

Kneeling on her balcony, sending her a besotted look, was...

Ladybug.

 _Oh my god._ Marinette resisted the urge to groan, instead sending the... copycat?... a nervous smile. _Why is this my life._

"Hello, sweetheart," Her own voice - _oh my god_ \- sent down into her room. "I'm sorry for showing up so abruptly, but I missed you."

Marinette searched valiantly for something to say. "It's alright," she replied, after a solid few seconds of frantic thought. "you can visit whenever you like."

Not-Ladybug beamed at her and slipped down onto her bed. Giggling, she flipped her legs over the side. "Sit with me?" She asked hopefully.

Marinette nodded shortly, shuffling in beside her. Not-Ladybug threw an arm around her and pulled her in. _What. Why. Oh my god._ "So," Marinette tried, "you were thinking of me?"

 _Oh my god._ Marinette watched as her own face bloomed in a blush. "Yes," her voice said.

 _Okay,_ Marinette told herself. _You can do this. You can definitely do this. Absolutely. For sure._

"I was thinking," Not-Ladybug continued, "that tonight would be a great night for a date."

 _I CAN'T DO THIS._

"Is it?" Marinette twisted and looked outside. It was, indeed, a pretty nice night, all things considered. "It is!" Not-Ladybug giggled again, that strange, high-pitched sound which was _definitely not her laugh._ "Did you, um, have any ideas?"

"Oh! There's a pretty garden south of the Notre Dame which I've been meaning to take you to," Not-Ladybug said sweetly. "I could carry you there!"

Marinette took a deep breath. _Time to twist this akuma around_ , Marinette decided. "Awh, but lovebug," she murmured teasingly, "you know I like to stand on my own two feet. I can run it."

"Are you sure?" Not-Ladybug asked, surprised. "I guess... as long as I'm there to keep you safe..." Marinette nodded encouragingly. "Alright."

"Oh," Marinette added, "And don't forget to tell Chat where you are. You _are_ missing Patrol at the moment, after all."

Not-Ladybug stiffened. "Oh! Of course, of course," she agreed. She grabbed her yoyo and pretended to flick it and press buttons. "There, sent him a message. Tonight's all yours," she added with a wink.

Marinette rose up onto her balcony, shortly followed by the akuma (what else could she be?). Climbing up onto her rooftop, she decided it was now or never. "Lead the way, lovebug," she said, trying to force her grimace into a smile. The akuma didn't notice; rather, she beamed, then began a slow run towards the Notre Dame.

* * *

It was surprisingly easy, in retrospect, to keep up with the akuma.

Nearly a year of running on rooftops as a superhero, and she was bound to develop some reflexes (not to mention muscle mass). She easily kept pace with the akuma, hopping from rooftop to rooftop, creeping down fire escapes and up the sides of buildings with almost as much ease as she had in the suit. She would have preferred her yoyo, admittedly, but she definitely needed to do some free-running on her own time.

The garden _was_ actually beautiful. It was across the street from the hotel she remembered Chloe staying in, and she made a show of being wowed by the verdant surroundings. Not-Ladybug watched her with what she supposed must be a lovesick expression, trailing behind her adoringly and smiling whenever Marinette looked her way.

It was... creepy, actually. Seriously creepy. But it got an A for effort.

Marinette froze when she noticed Chat Noir's silhouette a few rooftops over. His green eyes stood out like beacons, but they turned away quickly when they met hers.

 _Well, shit._

"Ladybug," Marinette began. The copycat (copybug?) turned around with a bright smile. _What do I even say?_ "Thank you for showing me this."

"Anytime, sweetheart," Not-Ladybug bounded over happily, hooking herself around Marinette in a hug. "you know I'd do anything for you."

"Really?" Marinette found herself asking.

"Of course!" Not-Ladybug chirped.

Marinette took a deep breath. "Lovebug, could you stand over there for a second and not turn around?" Not-Ladybug blinked. "Pretty please?"

The akuma caved. "Alright," she agreed, turning around and closing her eyes. "is this a surprise?"

"Just a bit," Marinette confirmed. Chat Noir, thankfully, showed up again, and Marinette waved him over. His tail flicked, and then he dove out of view, popping up now and again, closer and closer. "Ladybug... why did you decide to become a superhero?"

"Well," Not-Ladybug hummed. Chat Noir was close enough that Marinette could see the outline of his shoulder-pads, now, eyes flicking between her and her duplicate in confusion. "When I first got my powers, I was so certain I wasn't worthy of them," she stated. "but then... I thought of you."

Chat Noir, only a rooftop away, blinked, his ears twitching.

"I know Stoneheart is your classmate. And you tried so hard to be kind to him, to help him," she continued. "You're the only person I know who's ever succeeded in holding off an akumatization." She giggled again. "There's no one quite like you, sweetheart."

Marinette resisted the urge to scream. Obviously, the akuma knew her outside of the suit. She definitely couldn't transform, though that was originally the plan - pretend Marinette had escaped, and called the real Ladybug. Of course, Chat Noir broke that plan. Then it was switch with Chat, but she was fairly certain if she acted too familiar with him around someone who knew her, it could get just as bad as the 'Maribug' situation. "I never knew," Marinette replied cautiously. "that's sweet of you, Ladybug. But you know what?"

"What?" Not-Ladybug asked eagerly.

"This would be sweeter if I knew who you were," she admitted. "You know I'd love you, no matter who you ended up being behind the mask, so why do you keep hiding?"

Ladybug stiffened. Marinette beckoned Chat Noir, who looked guilty for a moment before landing on the rooftop with them and dodging behind a plant pot. "It could put you in danger," she insisted. "As long as you don't know, Hawkmoth can't use you. I don't want you to get hurt."

Marinette sighed. "I know, I know," she agreed, kneeling down to be at Chat Noir's eye level. She gestured for his baton, which he gave her, brow furrowed in confusion. "I know it's selfish, but... I always dreamed of a domestic life, you know? Three kids, a hamster, a job I love and someone I love even more." She stood up and twirled the baton, once, twice, then turned around to the fake Ladybug. "And as long as you wear a mask, that's practically impossible, Ladybug."

Not-Ladybug sighed. "It can work," she insisted. Marinette took a step forward, gently pulling the baton to make it longer. "I swear it can. Please, Marinette?"

Marinette gulped. "Sorry, Ladybug," she stated, then swung at her with all her might.

The baton connected solidly with the akuma, and Marinette winced at the noise as Ladybug collapsed, out cold before she even hit the ground.

"LADYBUG!" Chat Noir leaped out of the darkness, but Marinette didn't waste time. She marched forward and began searching the girl, finally getting an ominous tingle from her yoyo. "Marinette, what are you doing? How could you-" Marinette snapped it in half, and the akuma flitted out, the corruption bleeding off-

Chloe.

 _Oh, yuck_ , Marinette thought remorselessly. _Thank god I don't have to console her on this. This is going to be messy._

"Oh my god," Chat said, staring at the akuma. Marinette reached out, grabbed it, and with a private apology to Tikki, crushed it in her palm. When she released, a very disgusting dead butterfly fell to the ground. "Oh my _god._ "

"Yuck," Marinette commented, reaching into her purse for a hand-wipe. She started cleaning her hands.

"Wait," Chat blinked. "Then... where's Ladybug?"

Marinette tried to come up with an excuse. She couldn't think of one. _Sorry, Tikki._

"Yeah, uh, about that..."


End file.
